Modeling Healthy Help-Seeking

Children learn more from what they observe than from what they're told. Modeling healthy help-seeking behaviors is one of the most powerful ways to teach these skills.

Be Transparent About Your Own Help-Seeking

Narrate Your Help-Seeking Process

When you need help, let your children observe or hear about your process: - "I'm not sure how to fix this faucet. I think I'll call Uncle Jim because he's good with plumbing, and if he can't help, I'll call a professional plumber." - "I'm stressed about this work presentation. I'm going to ask my colleague Sarah to practice with me because she gives really good feedback." - "I don't understand this new tax form. I'm going to make an appointment with our accountant to make sure I fill it out correctly."

Demonstrate That Competent Adults Ask for Help

Counter the myth that needing help indicates incompetence by showing that successful adults regularly seek assistance.

"When my daughter saw me struggling with technology, I made sure to say out loud, 'Even though I'm good at many things, I'm still learning about computers, so I'm going to ask your tech-savvy cousin to help me,'" shares David, father of a ten-year-old. "I wanted her to see that being good at some things doesn't mean you should be good at everything."

Show Reciprocal Help Relationships

Let children see that healthy help relationships involve mutual assistance: - Help your neighbors with tasks they find difficult - Ask for help from the same people you assist - Express gratitude when you receive help - Offer your skills to support others

Model Help-Seeking Persistence

Show children that sometimes you need to ask multiple people or try different approaches: - "The first person I called couldn't help with this, so I'm going to try someone else." - "That solution didn't work, so I'm going to ask for a different kind of help."